What to Do If a Friend Is Texting You Suicidal Messages

Getting a text from a friend saying they want to end their life can be overwhelming and heartbreaking. You may not know what to say or worry that you’ll say the wrong thing and make things worse. In that moment, it’s important to remember that your presence, care, and willingness to listen can make a real difference.

This guide walks you through how to support your friend if they are texting you about suicide.  You’ll learn what to say in the moment, what to avoid saying, when to reach out for emergency help, and how to care for your own well-being along the way. 

Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources to support both you and your friend.

What to Do If a Friend Is Texting You Suicidal Messages

Any kind of communication about suicide, whether it’s in person, on the phone, or by text, is important and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Research shows that people who talk or write about suicide are often struggling deeply.

However, having a text conversation has its challenges. You can’t see your friend’s face, body language, or hear their voice, which makes it harder to know how serious they are. Because of this, it’s important to respond calmly and caringly. They chose to share their thoughts with you because they trust you and believe you’ll be there for them.

As a friend, it’s not your job to have all the answers or “fix” their pain. Focus on listening, responding with compassion, and connecting them to the right help. By responding to them, you’re showing your friend that their words matter, and they are not alone. Even a short message like, “I hear you, and I’m here with you,” can interrupt feelings of hopelessness and open the door to deeper conversation.

Immediate Response Strategies

It’s natural to feel anxious and not know how to reply when a friend texts you that they are thinking about suicide. The most important thing you can do is to respond with care and keep the conversation open.

What to Text Back

The first message you send back matters. It doesn’t need to be long or perfect. Just make sure your friend feels seen, heard, and cared for. 

Express your care and concern with simple phrases like “I’m really glad you texted me” or “I care about you, and want to help.” Let them know they are not alone.

Avoid saying anything judgmental or minimizing their feelings. Try not to say things like “It’s not that bad,” “You’ll feel better soon,” or “You have so much to live for!” Even if you mean well, those words can make them feel dismissed.

Be direct when asking about their safety. It’s okay to ask, “Are you thinking about ending your life right now?” Asking directly doesn’t put the idea into their head. It shows that you are taking their pain seriously. 

Keeping Them Engaged

After sending a reply, try to keep the conversation going. Your goal is to help your friend feel connected and not alone in their crisis.

Keep replying, even if it’s just a few words at a time. Say things like, “I want to stay with you while we figure this out” or “Let’s keep talking until you feel a little safer.”

After a few responses, suggest moving the conversation to a phone call if possible. Hearing your voice may comfort your friend and help you better understand the urgency of the situation. But if they only want to text, that’s alright. It’s better to stay connected in any way they feel comfortable.

Assessing the Level of Risk

As you talk with your friend, it’s important to try and assess the level of urgency. Some friends may need to express deep emotional pain without being in immediate danger. Other friends may give signals that they are at high risk of harming themselves soon. 

High-Risk Indicators in Text Messages

If your friend uses certain words or phrases, they may be in immediate danger. High-risk communication includes:  

• Talking about specific plans or methods: If they mention how they might hurt themselves, this signals a high level of risk.
• Saying goodbye or giving away possessions: Messages that sound like final farewells should always be taken seriously.
• Expressing hopelessness about the future: Statements like “There’s no point in living anymore” or “I can’t see things ever getting better” may mean they’re closer to acting on their thoughts.
  

Any type of communication like this is a red flag. You need to take immediate steps to keep your friend safe. 

When to Call for Emergency Help

Seek emergency help if your friend says they have a plan to harm themselves, are taking steps to carry it out, or you believe they are in immediate danger.

• Call 911: Let them know this is a mental health crisis, so first responders can bring the right type of help.
• Provide as much detail as you can: Share your friend’s name, location (if known), and what they’ve said in their messages.
• If you don’t know their exact location: Still call emergency services and explain the situation. Sometimes, authorities can work with phone companies to trace a call or text.
  

It can feel scary to call for emergency help. Remember, notifying first responders is an act of care. Your friend’s safety is the priority, and professionals are trained on how to help in a crisis.

Crisis Resources to Share

While your support matters greatly, you don’t have to do this alone. Professional crisis resources are available 24/7. Sharing these numbers with your friend and encouraging them to call can connect them with trained counselors who know how to guide someone through intense suicidal thoughts. 

National Crisis Hotlines

These are several trusted hotlines and text-based services designed to help in suicidal crisis:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dialing or texting 988 in the U.S. connects your friend directly to trained counselors who are available day and night. Or they can use the chat services at 988lifeline.org.
• Crisis Text Line (Text NAMI to 741741): If your friend prefers texting, they can text NAMI to 741741 to be connected with a crisis counselor.
• Specialized resources for different populations: Can a Willow Provider let me know which trusted resource to put here? 

Helping Them Access Immediate Support

Even if you share the crisis phone numbers, your friend might feel too overwhelmed or nervous to call. Many people in crisis need help accessing professional support. You can help your friend by:

• Encouraging them gently: Say something like, “I know it can feel scary to call, but these counselors are there to listen and support you.”
• Offering to stay with them: Let them know you can still text them while they call, or offer to do a three-way call.
• Connecting them with local emergency services if needed: If they refuse to reach out but you believe they are in immediate danger, calling 911 or local services may be the safest step.

Following Up and Ongoing Support

This journey with your friend doesn’t end once the immediate danger has passed. It’s important to continue checking in. 

After the Crisis

Once the immediate situation is over, your friend may feel embarrassed or even worried about how you see them. Checking in regularly with simple texts like “Thinking of you today” or “How are you holding up?” reminds them that you still care. 

You don’t need to be available 24/7, but keeping the conversation open with your friend helps support them in their treatment journey. 

Encouraging Professional Treatment

Professional treatment can give your friend the tools they need to manage suicidal thoughts and support them when it gets tough. 

Several mental health options are available, including:

• Therapists
• Psychiatrists
• Support groups
• Medication management
• Community programs

Your friend may need support in taking the next step. You can do this by looking up local providers, helping them schedule appointments, or sitting with them while they make the call. If they’re worried about cost, stigma, or not knowing where to start, acknowledge those concerns and gently remind them that support is available in many forms.

Protecting Your Own Mental Health

Supporting a friend through a suicidal crisis can take a big emotional toll. It’s important not to carry this burden alone. Taking care of your own mental health allows you to be a steady and compassionate support for your friend without burning out.  

Share your feelings with another friend, a family member, or a counselor. You can also call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. They offer help to people who are supporting someone in crisis. 

Boundaries are also an important part of keeping both you and your friend healthy. Be honest with your friend about your limits. When you need to sleep, go to work, attend school, or take care of other responsibilities, let your friend know when you’ll check back in. It’s okay to care deeply for your friend while also protecting your own well-being.

The Bottom Line

Supporting a friend who expresses suicidal thoughts through text can feel overwhelming, but your care and quick response can truly make a difference. 

Remember to listen without judgment, encourage them to reach out for professional help, and involve emergency services if they are in immediate danger. 

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to show up and remind them they’re not alone. By taking these steps, you’re helping create a bridge from crisis to safety.

Sources

Lynch, L., Moorhead, A., & Long, M. (2025). “You Have the Choice of Whether You’re Going to Get Help or Attempt Suicide”: Exploring the Process and Impact of Mental Health Help-Seeking with Young People (16–25 Years). Social Sciences, 14(9), 529. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci14090529

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2021). How To Talk (and Listen) To Someone Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts. Retrieved September 10, 2025, from https://www.nami.org/blog-post/how-to-talk-and-listen-to-someone-experiencing-suicidal-thoughts/

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2020). My Friend Is Suicidal: What Should I Do? Retrieved September 10, 2025, from https://www.nami.org/suicide/my-friend-is-suicidal-what-should-i-do/

National Institute of Mental Health. (2024). 5 Action Steps To Help Someone Having Thoughts Of Suicide. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved September 10, 2025, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/5-action-steps-to-help-someone-having-thoughts-of-suicide