Coping With Loneliness During the Holidays

Oftentimes, we feel like we’re meant to be cheerful during the holidays. But for many people, the holidays can bring up feelings of stress. The American Psychological Association (APA) states that two in five people feel more stressed during this time of year. Missing loved ones, not spending time with them, and feeling excluded are among the top causes of holiday stress.

If you do experience loneliness during the holidays, know that this isn’t an uncommon way to feel. And, there are many things that you can do to find comfort and connection.

In this article, we’ll explore why loneliness can feel more intense this time of year. We’ll also share tips on how to handle loneliness and support your emotional wellness during the holidays.

Why Loneliness Feels Stronger at Holiday Time

Cultural and social expectations often suggest that the perfect holiday means being with loved ones. Many of us feel pressure to create the “ideal holiday.” This can lead to stress about hosting and buying gifts. We may also compare ourselves to others on social media, feeling as though we need to achieve the “happy family” image we see online.

The holiday season also brings us out of our typical daily routines. Sometimes, this switch in routine can impact our mental health during holidays, bringing up feelings like loneliness. The decorations and music that we’re surrounded by can remind us of past holidays. If our holiday looks different this year or we’re celebrating without a loved one, feelings of grief may also come up.

It’s also important to note that loneliness is personal. Some people enjoy the peace and quiet and feel that spending time alone gives them time to focus on themselves. Others might feel lonely, even when they are surrounded by people.

Common Triggers of Holiday Loneliness

Being aware of common triggers can help you gain a better understanding of why you’re feeling lonely during the holidays. Common triggers include:

• Living far from family: Being away from family during the holidays can make you feel left out or alone.
• Grief or recent breakup: Spending the holidays without someone can be a major change, and it may feel difficult to practice some holiday traditions without them.
• Empty nest or retirement transitions: As children grow into adults, they might start spending holidays elsewhere, or the joy the holidays brought might not feel the same as when there were children in the home.
• Major life changes: Major life changes, such as a recent move, loss of job, or estrangement, can change how our holidays look, triggering loneliness.
• Mental health conditions that heighten isolation: Mental health conditions that increase isolation include depression and anxiety. These issues can make it harder to connect with others and worsen feelings of loneliness. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is also more common during this time of year, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness.
• Unrealistic expectations: High expectations can cause holiday blues and stress, which may make us feel lonely.

The Emotional and Physical Impact of Loneliness

Loneliness can affect a person's physical health and emotional well-being. Loneliness is associated with higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can increase feelings of stress and anxiety. This can lead to increased feelings of stress and anxiety. Social isolation can increase the risk of depression. Loneliness and depression also affect each other. Feeling lonely can lead to depression. Then, depression makes it harder to socialize. This can create a loop that people may get stuck in.

The increased stress and anxiety from loneliness can also impact a person physically. It may impact our sleeping and eating habits, further contributing to symptoms of stress. Over time, this can cause more aches and pains. You might experience headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, and trouble concentrating.

How to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

Having strategies for coping with holiday loneliness can help you be prepared when these feelings do come up.

Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings

When uncomfortable feelings come up, we can have a tendency to push them away. We might feel as though we need to be happy throughout the holiday season or feel that our problems aren’t as bad as others. But ignoring how we are feeling can often make these feelings worse. Instead, accepting loneliness without judgment allows us to work through these feelings. 

Showing self-compassion can allow us to meet ourselves where we are. Know that holidays can often look perfect in movies and on social media, but this isn’t reality. It’s okay to feel disappointed or lonely during the holidays. Talking about your feelings with a friend, family member, or counselor can lighten your emotional load. It also helps your loved ones understand you better.

Reconnect and Reach Out

Being alone can often feel overwhelming, but there are ways to connect with others if you would like. If you have friends and family members who are far away, make time to call or video chat with them, or send them a card or letter.

Support groups can also be a way to connect with others on a personal level while receiving mental health support. Many people are alone or need help during the holidays, which creates another way to connect with others. Try exploring volunteer opportunities that are meaningful to you, such as serving a meal at a soup kitchen, fostering a pet, or connecting with nursing home residents who are in need of a chat.

Small moments of connection can also help you feel less alone. Try delivering a meal to a loved one, baking treats for a neighbor, or even saying hello to someone you pass while out on a walk. Even spending time in a public place, such as a coffee shop, library, or place of worship, can make people feel less alone.

Create New Holiday Traditions

Sometimes, continuing to practice our regular holiday traditions can make us feel lonely or disappointed because things aren’t the same as they once were. Creating new holiday traditions can help you find joy in how things are now. Rather than focusing on others’ expectations, be intentional and think about what has personal meaning for you.

You might choose to try a new recipe, watch a holiday movie that was recently released, or spend the holiday in a different location. Some people like to spend their time on non-traditional holiday activities. This might include journaling, taking nature walks, planning a trip, or reorganizing the home for the new year.

Supporting Mental Health During the Holidays

Supporting your mental health during the holidays is important to help prevent and manage feelings of loneliness.

Setting Boundaries and Managing Triggers

People and expectations can be more likely to demand your time during the holiday season. Know that it’s okay to say no or postpone seeing each other to a less busy time so that you’re able to take care of yourself. This includes saying no to overwhelming events and choosing supportive company over those who drain your energy. Practicing saying no or explaining your boundaries can make this feel less overwhelming in the moment.

Ensure that you are scheduling time to recharge your social batteries and making space for downtime to do what you enjoy. But try to avoid being on social media during this time, as heavy social media use has been shown to increase feelings of loneliness. Instead, focus on the things that fill you up, such as listening to music, having a warm bath or shower, preparing a nutritious meal, practicing yoga, or spending time outdoors.

Practicing Self-Care and Mindfulness

Self-care is important to help you deal with the stress of the holidays, and mindfulness practices can help you learn to focus on the present without any emotional expectations. Choosing to exercise to help boost your mood, doing something creative, or trying something new are all ways to practice self-care.

Being mindful about how you are spending your days can also be helpful. We often break from our usual routines during the holidays, which can impact our mental health. Creating a holiday routine where you make time for self-care, balanced meals, and rest can help with managing this.

Practicing grounding and gratitude can also help support your mental health. Grounding practices can help with emotional regulation. These include tuning into your senses, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation. A gratitude practice, like a journal or meditation, can promote feelings of happiness. It also helps lower stress, depression, and anxiety.

When to Seek Professional Support

If symptoms of loneliness during the holidays start to impact your daily life, making it hard to keep up with your responsibilities or find joy in doing the things you usually love, it may be time to seek support. Feelings of loneliness that won’t go away or don’t seem to be getting better may also benefit from professional support. Therapy or online counseling can help you understand why you’re feeling the way that you are and teach you helpful strategies to manage symptoms.

Bottom Line

It’s not unusual to feel lonely during the holidays. But there are ways to manage these feelings, including reconnecting with others and creating new holiday traditions. It’s also important to manage your mental health during these busy times of the year by practicing self-care and setting boundaries. Therapy can be an important part of practicing self-care. 

Sources and Resources

American Psychological Association. (2023, November 30). Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 15). Health effects of social isolation and loneliness. https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/risk-factors/index.html

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, May 26). Loneliness. How Right Now. https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/emotion/loneliness/index.html

Crisis Text Line. (n.d.). Loneliness. Crisis Text Line. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/loneliness/

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (n.d.). Support groups. Retrieved November 28, 2025, from https://www.nami.org/support-education/support-groups/

Smith, A. P., & Alheneidi, H. (2023). The Internet and loneliness. AMA Journal of Ethics, 25(11), E833–E838. https://doi.org/10.1001/amajethics.2023.833