How to Support Your Partner with Postpartum Depression

After giving birth, your body goes through many physical and emotional changes. The added responsibility and lack of sleep can also contribute to feeling overwhelmed and anxious. While people often feel guilty about changes in their mood postpartum, it’s actually incredibly common and normal.

Up to 85% of people experience the baby blues in the days following birth, and 1 in 8 mothers will go on to develop postpartum depression. Postpartum depression doesn’t just affect mothers, either. Research has shown that 1 in 10 fathers also develop postpartum depression. LGBTQ+ parents can also experience postpartum depression. LGBTQ+ parents may deal with special challenges, like discrimination. These stressors can raise the chance of postpartum depression.

If your partner is experiencing postpartum depression, you might be unsure of what to do. But the reality is that you can be a great support for your partner. In this article, we’ll go over how to best support a partner experiencing postpartum depression.

What is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression is a mental health issue that can arise anytime in the first year after childbirth. However, it’s most common in the first few weeks. 

Symptoms and Diagnostic Criteria

Postpartum depression can cause a range of emotional, physical, and cognitive symptoms. These include:

• A persistent sad or “empty” mood.
• Difficulty bonding with the baby.
• Extreme mood swings.
• Anger and irritability.
• Excessive worry or feeling on edge.
• Lack of interest in hobbies and other things previously enjoyed.
• Feelings of hopelessness or guilt, including feeling as though they aren’t a good parent.
• Withdrawal from friends and family.
• Excessive fatigue.
• Headaches or stomachaches.
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
• Changes in appetite or sleep.
• Difficulty caring for oneself or their baby.

Postpartum depression can have mild or severe symptoms. More severe symptoms may include thoughts of suicide or death. 

Other postpartum mental health conditions can also cause changes in mood after giving birth. This includes postpartum anxiety. It causes symptoms like excessive worry, restlessness, and irritability. Postpartum anxiety impacts 1 in 5 women. Postpartum psychosis is rarer, affecting about 1 to 2 women out of every 1,000 births. It causes symptoms such as hallucinations (hearing or seeing things that aren’t real) and delusions (believing things that aren’t true).

Difference from “Baby Blues”

While both postpartum depression and baby blues cause low mood, there are some important differences. Symptoms of baby blues are milder, and they don’t last as long. Baby blues usually occurs within the first few days after birth, and symptoms last about 10 days.

Postpartum depression can occur at any time in the first year after birth, with symptoms lasting longer than two weeks. Symptoms of postpartum depression can be more severe, affecting daily life. While baby blues symptoms usually resolve on their own, postpartum depression usually doesn’t go away without treatment. 

Risk Factors and Causes

Risk factors for developing postpartum depression include:

• Personal or family history of depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder.
• Experiencing postpartum depression after a previous pregnancy.
• High stress, such as from financial difficulties.
• Lack of social and partner support.
• Relationship difficulties.
• History of trauma or adverse childhood experiences.
• Complications with the pregnancy or birth, or health issues with the baby.
• Giving birth to multiples.
• History of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
• Difficulty breastfeeding.

Hormonal changes and sleep deprivation can also play a role. During pregnancy, the hormones estrogen and progesterone are high. After birth, these hormone levels drop rapidly, which can sometimes trigger a change in mood. Other hormonal shifts, such as changes in thyroid hormone levels, can also contribute.

A lack of quality sleep is also common when you’re taking care of a new baby. This can impact mood and increase the risk of developing postpartum depression. 

Recognizing the Signs of Postpartum Depression

As a partner, knowing the signs of postpartum depression can help you support your loved one. If you notice any signs, encourage them to seek help. 

Emotional Symptoms

Signs of postpartum depression can be subtle. Your partner might blame themselves for how they’re feeling or explain it as being due to a lack of sleep. But persistent emotional symptoms can be a sign of something more. Emotional signs to watch for include: 

• Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or irritability.
• Feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy.
• Irritability and mood swings.
• Excessive worry, such as something bad happening to the baby.
• A lack of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyed activities.
• Feeling a lack of emotional connection or engagement.
• Difficulty bonding with the baby.
• Low self-esteem or heightened sensitivity to criticism.

Behavioral Changes

Physical and emotional changes can contribute to changes in behavior. It's normal to have some changes in your routine after a baby arrives. But if these changes last more than two weeks or disrupt daily life, it might be a good idea for your partner to consider an assessment for postpartum depression. Specific behavioral changes include:

• Changes in appetite, sleep, or energy.
• Withdrawal from activities and relationships.
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
• Difficulty caring for themselves or the baby, such as not showering or skipping meals.

Concerning Symptoms

Sometimes, concerning symptoms can develop. These include thoughts of harming oneself or their baby, severe mood swings, or psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.  If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or the Suicide & Crisis Helpline at 988.

How to Provide Emotional Support

Once you can recognize the signs of postpartum depression, there are several ways you can provide meaningful support.

Active Listening Techniques

Active listening techniques help create safe spaces for sharing and validate a person’s feelings and experiences. You can engage in active listening by paraphrasing or summarizing what the person said back to them in your own words. This is a great way to ensure that you understand what they’re saying and feeling.

When actively listening, maintain eye contact and focus on understanding the other person's view instead of just responding or trying to fix the issue. 

Expressing Care and Concern

Postpartum depression can be an overwhelming experience. This is why it's so important to avoid minimizing how your partner is feeling. As a partner, it’s your job to provide validation and support. Some examples of supportive language include: 

• “I’m here for you, and I can see that you are doing the best you can.”
• “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed with a new baby.”
• “I can see that you’re doing the best you can.”
• “It’s not your fault that you’re dealing with this.”
• “Thanks for trusting me with how you’re feeling; we’ll get through this together.”
• “I want to understand what you’re going through. Can you tell me more about how you’re feeling?”
• “I noticed that you haven’t been enjoying reading your books lately. How are you feeling?”
• “You are not a bad parent for feeling this way. Postpartum depression is a real mental health condition.”

People with postpartum depression can have doubts about how they’re doing as a parent. If you notice your partner doing something well or doing something that you appreciate, pointing it out can be a nice way to highlight their strengths. For example, “I love how relaxed our baby looks in your arms.

You can really tell they feel safe with you,” or “I really appreciate how you’ve been keeping track of the baby’s feeding schedule.”

Encouraging Professional Help

It can be difficult for someone with postpartum depression to seek professional help. They might feel guilty about taking time away from their baby or may feel shame about how they’re feeling. When approaching the topic, remind your partner that you care about them and are concerned about how they’re feeling.

It can also be helpful to mention that seeking help isn’t a sign of failure; many new parents need additional support. Let them know that postpartum depression is a real health condition and that it’s not their fault how they’re feeling.  However, it’s important to respect their autonomy in making the decision to seek help. Let them know that you’ll be there to support them if they do decide to seek help. 

Communication Strategies

When you have a new baby, life can be busy, and it can be difficult to check in with your partner. Setting aside 10-15 minutes each day to talk about how you’re both feeling can be helpful to prevent feelings from becoming bottled up. When talking, ask open-ended questions as this gives your partner a chance to expand. For example, “What was the best and worst part of your day today?” gives them a chance to talk more than “How was your day today?”.

Talking about topics like postpartum depression can be difficult. The timing of your conversation can really help. It’s best to talk at a time when you’re both able to be present and are free of any distractions.

It’s also best to avoid these talks at times when either one of you is feeling stressed or tired. When communicating with your partner, make sure to use “I…” statements. This helps to communicate your perspective without putting pressure on your partner.

Practical Ways to Help

Along with providing emotional support, there are several practical ways to provide support to help take pressure off your partner. 

Household and Childcare Support

The added responsibility of being a parent can add extra stress, which can make someone feel overwhelmed at times. When someone has postpartum depression, they also have limited energy, which can make everyday tasks seem more difficult. This is why it can be helpful to take on additional responsibilities, such as cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping. Because people often have trouble answering what they need help with, it’s best to take action.

For example, you might say, “I’m going to take the baby to the grocery store. Can I grab you a coffee on the way home?” 

It’s also important to avoid taking on too much yourself. Friends and family members are often keen to help. You can help with organizing this help from others, such as coordinating meal drop-off times. Taking advantage of services like grocery delivery can also help ensure that you’re taking care of your family while protecting your energy.

Facilitating Self-Care

It can be difficult for new parents to take the time for self-care, but taking care of themselves is an important way to care for their family. You can help facilitate self-care by encouraging rest and personal time. For example, offer to care for the baby while your partner takes a shower or goes for a walk by themselves.

Protect their need for rest by setting boundaries with family members and limiting visitors when your partner is feeling overwhelmed. 

You can also support healthy habits. Check that your partner is having regular meals, staying hydrated, and taking time for rest and gentle movement like yoga or walking. If you notice that your partner is doing this, reinforce that they’re making a great choice in prioritizing themselves. For example, “I’m glad you went to that yoga class. You deserve to take some time for yourself.”

Social Connection Support

Maintaining social connections is another way to care for yourself. You can help your partner maintain friendships and facilitate family relationships. For example, encourage your partner to meet a friend for coffee or watch the baby while they talk to an out-of-town family member. Joining a support group for new parents can also be helpful.

This is a safe, non-judgmental space where new parents can share experiences and offer tips.

As you adjust to life with a new baby, it can be easy for you and your partner to lose sight of your relationship. This is why it’s important to try to find time together without the baby, even if it’s just a few minutes together at the end of your day.

If you’ve returned to work and your partner is still at home, make an effort to stay connected throughout the day. Your partner may not have any adult interaction during the day, so checking in can be much appreciated.

Treatment Support

If your partner decides to seek treatment, you can offer to set up the appointment or go with them. It can also be helpful to provide or arrange childcare so that your partner is able to focus on their appointment.

Seeking treatment can be overwhelming. Reminding your partner that attending therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness, can be helpful. Some people find it supportive to discuss how treatment went, whereas others may not want to share.

Taking your partner’s lead and asking open-ended questions like “How did you feel after your appointment today?” gives them a chance to share as much as they’d like.

Taking Care of Yourself

It can be stressful if your partner is suffering from postpartum depression, so it’s important to take care of yourself, too.

Make time to check in with how you’re feeling. If you are feeling tired, schedule time to rest and do things that you enjoy. Friends and family members are often happy to help with meals or running errands, so let them know if you need a break. It can also be helpful to bring in paid help, such as a cleaner, to take something off both your and your partner’s plates.  

Some people feel uncertain about sharing how they’re feeling when their partner has postpartum depression. They recognize that their partner is going through a tough time and worry about putting more on them. But it’s important to share how you’re feeling, rather than bottling it up. It’s also normal to experience frustration, guilt, and even resentment at times.

It may be helpful to take advantage of supportive resources for partners, like support groups. Here, you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences and learn ways to support both your partner and yourself. 

While you might be focused on taking care of your partner and understanding how they’re feeling, don’t forget to focus on yourself. 50% of men who have a partner with postpartum depression have an increased risk of postpartum depression themselves.

Symptoms in men can be a bit different, often including more anger and risk-taking behaviors. Some partners can feel unsure about saying something because they haven’t given birth themselves. But they’ve still undergone a major change, and parents who haven’t given birth still experience postpartum depression. Caring for yourself is another way to care for your partner and family.

Professional Resources and When to Use Them

Knowing what professional resources are available can help you support your partner or yourself when seeking help.

Types of Mental Health Professionals

There are several types of mental health professionals. Therapists and counselors both offer talk therapy, helping clients develop better coping skills. For postpartum depression, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy (IPT) is often recommended.

CBT focuses on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It teaches you to recognize the thoughts and behaviors that contribute to postpartum depression symptoms and work to change them. IPT focuses on how major life events and relationships impact mood. It teaches coping strategies and strengthens social connections. Therapists might also recommend couples therapy to help improve communication skills. 

Psychiatrists manage medication, which is one option for the treatment of postpartum depression. If a parent is breastfeeding, they might worry about taking medication. But a number of safe options are available. You can have a conversation with your healthcare clinician to decide what might work best for you. 

Specialized postpartum providers are also available. These providers are specially trained in the emotional, social, and hormonal aspects that affect postpartum depression. They understand postpartum mental health issues in depth. This includes severe postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, and postpartum depression with other existing conditions like bipolar disorder. 

Crisis Resources

If someone is in immediate danger, seek immediate help. This includes calling the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 911.

Resources

Action Plan for Depression and Anxiety During Pregnancy and After Birth - National Institutes of Health

Finding Support for Postpartum Depression - Office on Women’s Health

Guide to Identifying Support for Postpartum Depression - Office on Women’s Health

‍Help for Partners & Families - Postpartum Support International

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline

Perinatal Depression - National Institute of Mental Health 

Postpartum Support International Helpline

Tips for Supporting Partners & Family Members with Postpartum Depression - Office on Women’s Health

Tips for Supporting Someone with Postpartum Depression - Office on Women’s Health

Sources

Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Postpartum depression: Causes, symptoms & treatment. Retrieved September 27, 2025, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9312-postpartum-depression

Johns Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). Baby blues and postpartum depression: Mood disorders and pregnancy. Retrieved September 27, 2025, from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/postpartum-mood-disorders-what-new-moms-need-to-know

Mayo Clinic. (2022, November 24). Postpartum depression: Symptoms and causes. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved September 27, 2025, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

UnityPoint Health. (n.d.). Male postpartum depression. Retrieved September 27, 2025, from https://www.unitypoint.org/news-and-articles/male-postpartum-depression--unitypoint-health

UT Southwestern Medical Center. (2021, August 17). 1 in 10 dads experience postpartum depression, anxiety: How to spot the signs. UT Southwestern Medical Center MedBlog. Retrieved from https://utswmed.org/medblog/paternal-postpartum-depression/